The Uterance of Alexiy Khrabrov
***
My, pomnyu, v detstve bedno zhili,
Nedoedali i edva
Kontsy s kontsami my svodili
I dnya kakikh-to, mozhet, dva
Nam do poluchki ne khvatalo
Pod koren', khot' ne bez truda
Ya nogti vyrvala togda
I na bazare obmenyala
Na chto-to s'estnoe.
Dm. Prigov, Iz knigi "Tyazhioloe Detstvo,
ili 20 strashnen'kikh istorii", Cologne, 1992.

Contents 





From: alexy@belknap.dartmouth.edu (Alexy V. Khrabrov)
Newsgroups: soc.culture.soviet
Subject: Burannye Tachki
Date: 15 Feb 1995 01:28:28 GMT




Mne rasskazali real`nuyu istoriyu.  Na nekoej plaze s supermarketami
nachalsya buran.  On pokatil tachki pryamo na mashiny s blyadyami.
Tachki katalis` po vsej plaze, bili i myali mashiny, sbivali obezumelyh
blyadej i ne davali im skryt`sya.  Tachki raskidyvali blyadskie
meshki.  Dazhe upavshaya tachka uporno taschilas` po zemle za
ubegavshimi blyad`mi i podminala ih.  Uvidev blyad`, zapihivavshuyu
meshki v bagazhnik, tachka peremahnula cherez sugrob i vmyala blad` v
meshki.  Drugie tachki upiralis` v dveri, ne davaya blyadyam vylezti iz
mashin na pomow` naruzhnym blyadyam.  Tachki umelo otgonyali blyadej ot
supermarketov i mashin na otkrytye mesta i ottuda, s razgonu vminali ih
rylom, v sugrob.  Potom tachki razbili vse vitriny i vorvalis` davit`
suetlivyh prodavcov i pritaivshihsya vnutri blyadej.  Nakonec tachki
ot~ehali podal`she ot supermarketov, i skrylis` v burane.  --
Lish` kabluki blyadi, neestestvenno torchawie iz bagazhnika, ukazyvali
na sluchivsheesya.
--
        Alexy V. Khrabrov 
        ``Age Quod Agis'' (Do what you're doing.)








From: alexy@belknap.dartmouth.edu (Alexy V. Khrabrov)
Newsgroups: soc.culture.soviet,soc.culture.ukrainian
Subject: The Brave New Verse [Vol. XII]
Date: 23 Feb 1995 02:36:55 GMT 




VMESTO BASNOSLOVIYA

Let me introduce you to my friends, two
fun-loving Generals. Podpol.-Gen. Opanas and
Podpol.-Gen. Savelij.  They fought WWII, and
those unforgettable accounts exist and will
shine some day.  The Generals discuss various
issues, mingle with the modern mob, and blend
history and their personal experience into a
foreign but provoking mix as Gevalia Kaffe. 
"Zhiva li ja?..." I dunno, honey... 
Listen...  Oh, dear--they're solders, simple
tough "kulak"'s sons, excuse their language...

[Naveyano] From: U25628@uicvm.uic.edu (Alexey DAN)
>:: Ya tak stchitayu - znaniye anatomii stol'zhe 
>:: pomogaet raz"yasnit' predmet 
>:: naschey besedy, kak polyoty v aerotrube 
>::                           TAKOY VOT UPRYAMIY.

Generaly uzhe letali pomogat` partizanam.
E`to oni sbrosili vsyo mimo lyuka.  Bojcy
vspominayut...

Opanas:  Znaesh`, Savelij, Byl takoj
lyotchik-ispytatel', Kostya Minaher.
Prizemlyalsya on obychno kostyami na her.

Savelij: YA emu i govoryu,
--Vot chto, Kostyaminaherov, tvoi ``bochki''
my v groby vidali.  Takoe zhe otnoshenie k
vozdushnomu boyu imeyut, kak polyoty v
aerotrube!  Na gubu!  Letaj kak polozheno!
Kakoe na her ``dotyanul''!  Skazali na
her--tak i katapul`tiruysja, i na her ne
vazhno chto tam vnizu, hot` govno, hot`
mavzolej--ponyal?! ``A gorod podumal...'' 
Ish`, nauchili! Kozmonot!  Ahstronot, blya! 
Po svoej aerotrube nebos` naletal chasy, kak
oshparennyj!  A my tut v govno prygaj!  Na
gubu!!

Savelij and Opanas, together: 
``Correct spelling of "aerotruba" must be with
the same first letter "ae" as appears in
"aesthetics" when written by Greeks and
us philosophers.''


		#IZ CIKLA ``KUVAKINO''
		
!POLYOTY V AEROTRUBE
(OPANAS I SAVELIJ--LYOTCHIKI)

--Pomnyu, Savelij, AErotrubu.
Sviwet, kak adskaya prorva...
--YA, Opanas, eyo videl v grobu!
Chto ty raskarkalsya, "zdo-orovo..."?!

Ya nauchilsya letat` na vojne.
A ne v aerotrubiwe.
Vsyo mimo lyuka utopit v govne
Kto v S.SH.A. schast`ya iwet!

YA nauchilsya letat` na vojne.
A ne na, blyat`, trenazhyore.
Sbil mnogo nemcev--hvatilo vpolne.
Padal v boloto i v more...

Da, ya uchilsya letat` na vojne.
A ne na aerodrome.
Antisemit?...  Sam evreev, v ogne,
Tonuwih, spas, na parome.

YA ot zemli otorvalsya v vojnu.
``Aerotrub'' ne konchali.
Nemca uvizhu--po rozhe strel`nu.
Grohnetsya, celyj?  Edva li...

YA razgonyalsya pod zluyu strel`bu.
I poletel, kak iz bani.
V zhope ya videl aerotrubu.
V nej poleteli b i sani!

Nynche, shuruesh` v aerotrube.
Kazhdyj--major tolstozadyj.
YA vyletal iz saraja na "Pe",
S bombami, a ne s... ``sharadoj''....

Netu na fronte aerotruby.
Da nikogda i ne budet.
V nebo so svistom uhodyat groby.   (S grohotom v nebo..)
Pust` nas Istoriya sudit!

-- 
	Alexy V. Khrabrov  
	``Age Quod Agis'' (Do what you're doing.)







From: alexy@belknap.dartmouth.edu (Alexy V. Khrabrov)
Newsgroups: soc.culture.soviet
Subject: The Brave New Verse [Vol. XIII]
Date: 6 Mar 1995 05:06:50 GMT


# BEZHALI



!VSE SPRYAMILI

ZHidy vse spryamili-a ty ne sognesh`,
ZHidy sochinili-a ty ne pojmesh`!



!BUDEM ZHIT^


Budem zhit` v gryazi i niwete,
Budem isprazhnyat`sya na moroze-
Tol`ko b ne priehali k nam te
Mudrye zhidy na parovoze.

Budem zhit` na d`yavol`skoj cherte
I ne otklikat`sya `La-Krimoze,'
CHto by ni napomnili nam te
Starye zhidy v stihah da v proze.

Budem zhit` v probirke, v pustote,
V gryaznoj zhizhe, v merzostnom navoze-
Tol`ko b ne priehali k nam te
Samye zhidy.  Pochiem v boze!



!POKRASILI

ZHidy pokrasili korobki
Iz zolotogo v chernyj cvet.
ZHidy byvayut ochen` robki,
ZHidy byvayut-ochen` net.



!ZA OKOLICEJ

Za okolicej Hejfeca
Kipyatilas` maca.
Da takaya horoshaya,
Na stupen`kah kryl`ca!



!E'TO "GUT"

E'to "gut".  I e'to "gut",
Vse zhidy tuda begut.
Staryj zhid bezhit po rel`sam.
Vanya, daj emu po pejsam!



!EVREI SKACHUT

Evrei skachut po polyam.
Evrei skachut po prostoram.
Evrei skachut po moryam,
Po rudnikam i kosogoram.
Evrei skachut po strane.
Evrei skachut po derzhave.
Evrei mogut byt` vpolne,
Evrei mogut byt` ne vprave.


!KROKODILY ELI

Krokodily eli cherepah.
CHerepahi eli krokodilov.
Krokodilov eli v cherepah,
CHerepah-v ragu iz krokodilov.

Leopardy eli obez`yan.
Pticy kivi eli popugaev.
Esli ty segodnya v meru p`yan,
Znachit, ty-santehnik Nikolaev.

Krokodily eli barrakud.
Barrakudy eli latimerij.
Esli ty-priverzhenec iud,
Togu rossiyanina ne meryaj.

Kashaloty gnalis` za kitom,
Os`minogi gnalis` za kal`marom.
Ty plohoj geometr pritom,
Posidi, druzhok, za Adamarom.

Anakondy zhrali zhirnyh zhab,
Zlye zhaby eli nasekomyh.
Esli ty-evrej ili arab,
U tebya i net drugih znakomyh.

Alligator tyanet v vodu lan`.
Puma pozhiraet orhidei.
Gorod v Ingushetii-Nazran`,
Naciya v Izraile-evrei.

Straus probegaet po stepi
Mimo os`minogov i zhirafov,
Ty ustal nemnogo, poterpi;
Ezdish` zajcem-opasajsya shtrafov.

E'mu rassekaet klyuvom bush.
Ptica kivi gonitsya za neyu.
Esli vy-chlen obwestva i muzh,
Vyberite pervoe-i v sheyu.

Murav`ed zasunul nos v noru
I vtyanul vseh bystro, po poryadku.
Esli vy ne v duhe poutru, spite
I ne delajte zaryadku.



!OTBIL

Evrej otbil evrejku u evreya.
On zlee byl, a tot, drugoj,-dobree.
Potom on s neyu zhil vsyu zhizn` skorbeya,
Kak budto s~el zhivogo skarabeya.



!ON ISCHEZAET

On ischezaet niotkuda
I poyavlyaetsya stremglav,
On peremenchiv, kak Iuda,
I bespowaden, kak udav.



!PILI PIVO

ZHidomasony pili pivo
Iz kruzhek, chashek i krinic.
ZHidomason zhivet schastlivo:
On znaet kriki vewih ptic.



!CHETYRE

CHetyre zhida i zhidovka vpridachu
Ukrali pavlina, ograbili dachu.
Pavlina ukrav, owipali i s~eli.
K ikonam pripav, prichastit`sya uspeli.
Grehi otpustili-i snova za dachi.
Tak pust` ne ostavit ih veter udachi!



!RESHILI

Reshili zhidy, chtoby kazhdyj zhidenok
Ne shel do vody, tak kak led slishkom tonok.
No nekij zhidenok ne vnemlet zapretu,
Polzet do vody i nakazan za e'to:
Vot led provalilsya, on plavaet v luzhe.
Emu zapretili; on polz.  Pochemu zhe?!



!"JEWISH"

Jewish mechetsya v nochi.
Tishe, Jewish, pomolchi.


!ESLI TY

Esli ty-neschastnyj zhid,
Ot tebya zhena sbezhit.
Esli ty-plohoj evrej,
To horoshego sogrej.



!KOGDA ON

Kogda on zhil v dalekom Ejske,
To iz~yasnyalsya po-evrejski.
A, pereehavshi, v Podol`ske
Zagovoril, stervec, po-pol`ski.



!CHETYRE VINTOVKI

Est` u zhidovki chetyre vintovki,
Est` u zhida klyuchevaya voda.
Est` u zhidenka chetyre kotenka-
Edut zhidy neizvestno kuda.

Solnce siyaet nad ih golovami,
Veter igraet v verhushkah sekvojj.
Skachut vdali leopardy so l`vami.
Slyshen dalekij i zhalobnyj voj.

Za gorizontom ischezli berezy,
Skrylis` v tumane Rostov i Stambul.
Skoro zabudutsya zlye morozy,
V pamyati sginut Ivan i Abdul.


!RAN^SHE, BYVALO, ZAVIDEV

Ran`she, byvalo, zavidev zhida,
Rossy krichali: idi, zhid, syuda!
Vypej grafin, pozvoni v telefon...
Ty, zhid, odin, nu a nas-million.
Nynche, zavidev zhida, ross drozhit.
"Vot on idyot syuda,"--dumaet,--"zhid."
"Chto emu nado v dyryavoj izbe?"
Ty vot, chitatel`,--ne stydno tebe?



!UVYALA RUSSKAYA PRIRODA

Uvyala russkaya priroda.
Zima na pastbiwah nanaj.
Otcy evrejskogo naroda
Veli ego cherez Sinaj.

Nevzrachno solnyshko svetilo.
V barhane sohnet piligrim.
Bol`shie polchiwa Attilla
Ewe ne smel vesti na Rim.

Poka v lico ne znali skifov,
V Egipte pravil faraon,
Net rimskih pap, Fomy, halifov,
Parizha, Veny i OON.

Hot` podvig drevnih god ot goda
Tuskneet, ty, zhidenok, znaj:
Otcy evrejskogo naroda
Veli tebya cherez Sinaj.


!KAPERNAUM

Veselyj lavochnik Eguda Tojtel`baum
Poehal kak-to za gribami v Kapernaum.
A po doroge tol`ko ponyal: chto za chush`,
Tam net ne tol`ko chto gribov, no dazhe grush!

Ustalyj lavochnik Avessalom Pankratov
Rugal lenivyh russkih Titov i Pankratov,
Rugal chinovnikov poganyh, kaznokradov,
Rugal, hripya, hameleonov-partokratov,
Rugal, nabychivshis`, prodazhnyh deputatov,
Rugal, uzh harkaya, tamozhennikov-gadov,--
I v korchah umer bednyj lavochnik Pankratov.

A v Kapernaume nashel Eguda belyj.
Kul`turnyj lavochnik-ne zlobnyj, a umelyj.



!LEJTENANT IZRAIL^SKIJ
(Na motiv pesni "U derevni Kryukovo")

Lejtenant izrail`skij
Zakrichal: "Vpero-o-od!"
U sela Al`-Rufiya
Pogibaet vzvod.

Vse patrony konchilis`.
Bol`she net granat.
I vsego odin ostalsya ranenyj
Mojsha Barenblatt.

Ne spesha strelyaet on
V goev iz ruzh`ya.
Galkoj otmechaet:
"Ewe odna svin`ya."


!NE KUPIT^

Ne kupit` li "ZHiguli?"
Ne prodat` ih zhidu li?



!NET EVREYA (Samokriticheskoe)

Net evreya bez ermolki,
Brakon`era--bez dvustvolki,
Bez ulova--rybaka,
Bez Khrabrova--duraka.


-- 
	Alexy V. Khrabrov  
	``Age Quod Agis'' (Do what you're doing.)





Newsgroups: soc.culture.soviet
From: khrabrov@bean.cccc.com (Alexy Khrabrov)
Subject: The Brave New Verse [Vol. XIV]
Keywords: Russian Verse
Date: Thu, 6 Apr 1995 21:40:04 GMT



!ZISKIND I ZUSSER (PRODOLZHENIE)

Ziskind sporson`ja poshyol na rabotu.
On i ona ne spravlyayut Subbotu.

Vremeni net navewat` podsudimyh,
Tol`ko v sude zawiwat` ih, rodimyh,

Platyawih rovno, a znachit lyubimyh,
Stol` zhe ogromno, hotya nelyudimyh, 

Glupyh ka probka, i umnyh newadno,
Molyawih robko, oruwih plowadno,

V shlyapkah, beretah, pomochah, kaloshah,
Tapkah, zhiletah, -- rabochih, horoshih,

Modnyh vdovic i ustalyh krestyanok,
Shodnyh devic iz kvartalov dlya p`yanok,

I ozverevshih ot zhadnosti niwih,
I ovdovevshih lyubitelej piwi.

Kazhdyj nesyot uzelok s gonorarom,
Hvoryj polzyot, oderzhimyj, s udarom,

Statskij sovetnik i drug voenkoma,
Ili, perednik nakinuv znakomo,   (.. otkinuv)

Prosit kuharka izbavit` ot syska,
Raz uzh nasmarku ego, vasiliska,

Pristava, mnozhestvo raz privechala,
Supom poila, dobrom otlichala,

Sprava durak umolyaet vstupit`sya,
Pravo, v ovrag on ne mog udali`sya,

Vot i posporil s devicej v prolyotke,
I raskuporil mozgi ej, trewyotke,...

Ziskind ustal, kak osyol vodonosa,
``Zusser,''--svistal vseh naverh,--``ot donosa

I do donosa sizhu ja v kontore.
Dal`she vot nosa ne vizhu...  Gde more?

Zusser, gde plewutsya stai del`finov?!
Mne zhe klevewut s utra, i pingvinov

YA v zooparke ne videl s pol-goda,
V dikoj zaparke sidel s ledohoda,

Pachki proshenij newadno listaya,
Bez vozrazhenij--izryadno pustaja

I bespoleznaya zhizn` moja, Zusser...
Ili nechestnaya, nu eyo, pust`, her

S nimi, s den`gami, zdorov`e dorozhe,
Zlymi krugami nesus` ja, o bozhe,

K polnoj potere prozrachnosti mysli,
Vot uzh v partere vuali povisli,

Ne kolyshu ja uzh vozduh glagolom,
I ne dyshu, dajte rozdyh!  Tyazhyolym

Snom zabyvayus` vse chawe i chawe,
Son vsyo zhelannej, navyazchivej, slawe,

Sami soboyu smykayutsya veki,
I otdalyayutsya skorbi naveki...



--

	Alexy V. Khrabrov  
	``Age Quod Agis'' (Do what you're doing.)






Newsgroups: soc.culture.russian,soc.culture.soviet
From: khrabrov@cccc.com (Alexy V. Khrabrov)
Subject: The Brave New Verse [Vol. XVIII]
Date: Mon Sep 25 16:09:08 EDT 1995





!MARSHAL SBOEV

Proshla zima.  Odnazhdy, letnim dnem,
Letel kortezh po ulice Geroev.
Motociklisty okruzhili dom.
Iz limuzina vyshel marshal Sboev.


-- Izvestno stalo, tvoj, staruha, syn
V tot tyazhkij god bezhal ot tribunala.
On byl evrej; skazal, chto -- armyanin...
-- Pomiluj bog, a ya-to i ne znala!...


I, vozmywennyj, marshal vyshel von,
Vzrevel kortezh po ulice Geroev...
Odnazhdy ja glyadel na nebosklon --
Tam podnimalsya v nebo marshal Sboev.



!DZHIGIT NA CHUZHBINE

Umer dzhigit na chuzhbine,
Rostom velik i neglup.
V tesnoj stiral'noj mashine
Ne pomewaetsya trup.



!IDU PO CELINE

Idu po celine,
Ceplyayas' za berezy;
Skvoz' utrennij tuman
K poskotine idu --
Tam baby hleb pekut,
I dushat menya slezy,
I slyshen solovej,
Rydayuwij v prudu.   (.. bredu.)



!MOYA POZICIYA

Moya poziciya nadezhnosti prochna.
Moya politika nadezhdy e'ffektivna.
I dazhe esli narushaetsya ona,
To e'to bol'she nepriyatno, chem protivno.



!CHTO DELAYU JA LICHNO

Chto delayu ja lichno, suwestvuya?
Ideyu podchinayu vewestvu ja.


--
        Alexy V. Khrabrov 
        ``Age Quod Agis'' (Do what you're doing.)







Newsgroups: soc.culture.soviet
From: khrabrov@bean.cccc.com (Alexy Khrabrov)
Subject: Po Nekrasovskim Mestam
Date: Wed, 5 Apr 1995 20:43:13 GMT 



	--<*>--
"Vyd` na Volgu, chej ston razdaetsya?..."

Syad` na Volvo -- charlston razdaetsya!


	--<*>--
"Ty prismotris` k nemu, Vanya, vnimatel`no..."

Ty prismotris` k nemu v vanne vnimatel`no...


        --<*>--
"Svesiv rusye golovy k grudi..." (Kstati, ch`ej?)

Svesiv lysye golovogrudi!  (Enthomology/bestiality)


        --<*>-- (repost)
"Grabili nas gramotei-desyatniki..."

Grabili nas gramotei-shestidesyatniki...


--
        Alexy V. Khrabrov 
  "Ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam"-







From: alexy@alkaid.dartmouth.edu (Alexy V. Khrabrov)
Newsgroups: soc.culture.soviet
Subject: Re: Questions about the Russian culture
Date: 18 Mar 1995 00:42:22 GMT 



Hi there,
I don't know much about American life since I live in the remote
West India.  Soon I'm going to visit America, to see the skyscrapers,
and learn how to "don't give a f* about nothing"--I've seen this
phrase in a newspaper our missioner forgot when he ran away from us
to the jungle, trying to escape circumcision (he didn't!).  Does
"f*" stand for "flower"?  I've tried to run it thru my C compiler,
because I was so intrigued I forgot I have to wait seeing America
until I'll learn the computers.  So it didn't come thru.  Oh, yes,
why do you Americans genitalize (soggy, stuffed noze) your spelling
so frivolously--thru, drite, tonite, 2 good 2 b shooz, &tc.?  My
English textbook, which my grandgrandma got from a Victorian officer,
doesn't have cuz in it.  But it does have "flower".
	Well, now, more questions about your remote country.

1.  What is sex?
2.  What is oral sex?
3.  Why do women have such ran down faces?  Is it because of this
strange oral thing I dunno about?  What is "I dunno?"  I dunno?...
4.  In our old-fashioned West India, women have fresh smiling
faces.  On American TV, which our missioner watched _that_ night,
God save him, so these women look like they are too tired to move
their lips--as though they used them hard for something else.  What
do people in America use their mouths (kissers--what's that?) so
hard?  And these women have wrinkled faces, as though they tried
it really hard.  We asked the missioner, and didn't like he's
embarrassed--we don't like schmucks.  After we did _that_ to him,
even Suleiman-aka was embarrassed.  Still we don't know what
the flower those women are...

I'll ask more questiones when I'll finish a new test on one
West Indian girls who wants to look like that flower.  I got
an idea.  But still please reassure me.  Bye for now,

--
        Alexy V. Khrabrov 
  "Ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam"-






From: alexy@alkaid.dartmouth.edu (Alexy V. Khrabrov)
Newsgroups: soc.culture.soviet
Subject: Re: Lenin kazel, a ne "Kozel"!!!
Date: 21 Mar 1995 01:37:21 GMT




In article <1995Mar20.174421.13443@ivax> adubovay@indyunix.iupui.edu () writes:
>nkrash@cs.umb.edu wrote:

[!  Narochito ``bezgramotnaya'' stryapnya.  Tol`ko vot
  ``rukopisi hudozhnikov,'' ob~ekt, ne nado bylo, ne nado...
  I tak borwa net--zachem zhe _pere_barwivat`?...
]

>Alexandra(Shura)

Tak.  Mozhet Sasha, no sokrawyonno--``ob~ekt'', i rukobludlivyj
kordebalet:  zaebu.  Be afraid, be _very_ afraid.  Petya: nebos`,
dva /unix'a tut kak nel`zya umestny.  Tol`ko, estestvenno, po
_isxodnomu_ adresu, a ne poddel`nomu.  Vernee, s nastoyawim,
ves`ma neozhidannym i boleznennym dlya nedonoska isxodom.  Kogda
trassiruew` trollya "all the way back home," obychno smeshno,
no vot posle strelyalok pora i nam "release some violence."

Dumaj, ob~ekt.  Vsyo e`to ne smeshno.  Vperedi--luzha krovi,
vydernutyj vitrual`nyj pankovskij greben`, tyazhkie telesnye
povrezhdenija, konvul`sii, agonija, smert` bez pokajanija na
pronizyvayuwem vledyanom vetru.  Udary razbitym kineskopom.
Polnaya kastracija sadovym sekatorom.  Vvedenie igl pod nogti.
Zasovyvanie smyatoj konservnoj banki v zadnij prohod.  Vzbaltyvanie
soderzhimogo byvshej golovy mikserom v "sudne" ili "utke".

Po-xoroshemu proshu, kak polu-chelovekov: Trolli, vodite trollejbusy!  

Net, ne doxodit.  Vot pryamo moi podsazhennye demony-shpiony tak
i vspoloshilis`: v e`to samoe vremya ``ob~ekt'' opyat` drochit!  F-fu ty,
chyort--kajsya, klizma e`takaja!  Na koleni!

Ewyo raz: ub`yu.  Svinchatkoj prob`yu zhivot, sxvachu za
pozvonochnik, dyornu ot dushi, golova provalitsya v trusy, i ty, ob~ekt,
zadoxnyow`sya.  

S dnyom Parizhskoj Kommuny!  K stenke!

--
        Alexy V. Khrabrov 
  "Ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam"-





From: alexy@alkaid.dartmouth.edu (Alexy V. Khrabrov)
Newsgroups: soc.culture.soviet
Subject: Re: kolokol'chik (Was: Burime: variacii na
Date: 21 Mar 1995 02:06:02 GMT
Summary: Okonchatel`naya rifma dlya kolokol`chika.



Nepobedimo tochnye rifmy, okonchatel`no, dayutsya tem,
chto ya nazyvayu "razbienie".  Sm. predyd. primer.  Teper`,
naibolee -- identichno --tochnye rifmy-razbienija dlya slova

	Kolokol`chik:

	kolok, Kol`, chik
	kol, o, Kol`, chik
	kol, oko l`, chik

Zapyatye nado zamenyat` svoimi znakami prepinaniya po smysly,
kotoryj ewyo nado izobresti...  (-;  Nu-tko,

	!UDACHA--OTVERNUVSHIMSYA

	Konec tvoj kolok, Kol`--chik,
	Chirik, i net konca...
	Opavshij kolokol`chik,
	So zvonom dva jajca

	Kuda-to pokatilis`, 
	Naverno pod royal`--
	O, kak vy izmenilis`,
	Izmenniki, a zhal`...

--
        Alexy V. Khrabrov 
  "Ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam"-


	



 
From: alexy@alkaid.dartmouth.edu (Alexy V. Khrabrov)
Newsgroups: soc.culture.soviet
Subject: CONTEST ``ANTISEMITE<=>RUSSOPHOBE'' (was Re: Antisemizm -- eto ploxo)
Date: 23 Mar 1995 22:04:40 GMT



In article <3ksljp$hlc@twinkie.cs.umd.edu> cema@cs.umd.edu (Simon Hawkin) writes:
>
>Antisemitizm -- eto ploxo, i ya ne sobirayus' prigovarivat' "i
>vot russofobiya tozhe".
>
>CEMA

Xopowo, davaj ja prigovoryu:
(Khm-khe-gm-khm)
[zalez na podium]

	Russofobiya--e`to ochen`, ochen` ploxo.
	Russofoby -- unylye duralei.

[slez s podiuma]

Dalee, ja predlagayu novyj 

CONTEST ``ANTISEMITE<=>RUSSOPHOBE''

The objective is to suggest the best set of substitutions
for a traditional computer editor with find-and-replace
capability, which will turn any initially antisemitic invective
into the russophobic one.  Then, if the substitution set works,
and the substitutions themselves are adequate, this will
_functionally prove_ that antisemitism and russophobia are
the same bowl of fish--functionally equivalent processes
(applying stupidity).  Obviously, the title is the first substitution.

EXAMPLE.
Initial text:

JEWS created CONSPIRACY to oppress OTHERS.

Substitutions:
JEWS<=>RUSSIANS, CONSPIRACY<=>EMPIRE, OTHERS<=>OTHERS.

New text:
RUSSIANS created EMPIRE to oppress OTHERS.
--

Dalee, esli est` ``frankophone'', pochemu net ``russophone''?
I voobwe, chto za KOLENOPREKLONSTVO PERED ZAPADOM?  RUSSOLYUB!

ANTISEMIT=>PROTIVOEVREJ, ILI PROTIVOZHID!

	Tam sionist i russofil
	S antisemitom, russofobom
	Sxvatilis` vdrug, chto bylo sil--
	Avos`, pomiryatsya...  
				za grobom.


--
        Alexy V. Khrabrov 
  "Ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam"-







Newsgroups: soc.culture.russian,soc.culture.soviet
From: compcom@tigger.jvnc.net (Scott Andrews)
Subject: The Brave New Verse [Vol. XVI]
Keywords: Russian Verse
Date: Fri, 28 Apr 1995 20:54:13 GMT




VMESTO SLAVOSLOVIYA

	The following verse was preserved by my schoolmate,
another 57it Serge Winitzki of Tufts University, to whom I
owe my wholehearted gratitude for that act of courage and
supreme filing discipline techniques.  Although sent to him
from Moscow, nay a couple of years ago, it doesn't bear any
resemblance to the contemporary military affairs.  Now that
I see things in perspective, I agree with the fundamental
right of the Russian nation to survive unconditionally, and
to pass the Soviet mythology as a fun-loving adventure of the
past -- on, to further generations.  I have spoken.  (-;

                         * * *

       Net, nevozmozhno nikak ot obez'yan mne ukryt'sya.
       Nekuda, pravo, ujti, spryatat'sya negde ot nix.
       Znachit, pridyotsya i mne stat' obez'yanam papashej,
       Towix kashicej kormit', tolstym za uxom chesat'.
       Prygaet vot i sejchas zlaya odna obez'yana;
       Spelyj banan vysoko v nebe nad neyu visit.
       Yawikov mnogo vokrug krepkix lezhit i fanernyx;
       Zhdu ne dozhdus' ya, kogda dura zalezet na nix.
       Esli by byl ya, kak ty, mil chelovek, generalom,
       S tolstoj lampasoj, chto l'nyot k tyoplomu boku zmeyoj,
       Esli b priexal syuda s pyatiminutki Genshtaba,
       I, zakuriv skvoz' mundshtuk, dolgo smotrel na banan,
       Pravo, ne snyal by togda ya ni shinel', ni papaxu
       I ne proshyol za bar'er, krepko rugaya svyatyx.
       E'tot zhe bednyj moj drug krepko napryagsya i... prygnul,
       Prygat' pochyol za primer, chto obez'yanam dayut.
       Net, nu nikak ne dostal, ne zacepil on produkta,
       Tol'ko upal na makak, xvost babuinu prizhav.
       S vizgom neslas' po Moskve chyornaya skoraya pomow',
       "Prygajte, bratcy..." sheptal marshal; za Podvig im stal.



--
        Alexy V. Khrabrov 
        ``Age Quod Agis'' (Do what you're doing.)



IMPORTANT POSTSCRIPTUM.

Serge Winitzki's WWW home page contains this verse with the
then-edition of the "Races" ( ..[Vol. I]) and our latest
project, FINAL CYRILLIC TRANSLITERATION WORLD STANDARD.
	Its premise is to provide the Russian language with
transparent Latin base, while preserving _all_ the orphography
and _all_ the language intact.  The model is Serbo-Croatian, um,
sharing of the same language with the two underlying alphabetical
foundations, the Latin and Cyrillic ones.
	The standard, called Russkaya Latinica (RL), is an all-American
pragmatic eclectics.  Although a portable (C-based) converter,
implementing the RL will be provided, the standard is a strict
specification of the mappings and options, description of new concepts
as malleability, etc., and leaves the freedom of implementation
to the developers.  It will eventually replace all the incompatible
and often-ugly transliterations of today.  These Volumes are already
written in RL (the present version), so it's not frightening.
But it gives mutually-unique mapping of Cyrillic and Latin representation
of the Russian text, leaving the beloved language intact.
	You might check it out at Serge's home page:

http://www.tufts.edu/~swinitzk.

	Please send your thought-out suggestions about RL to
us through the page above.  Special thanks to Dr. Manin for
his valuable comments.  We are firmly inclined to perform the
standardizing procedures with the appropriate Russian agencies and ISO,
including the slavistic scientists and other academia users
(of Russian :-).



EOF







Newsgroups: soc.culture.russian,soc.culture.soviet
From: compcom@tigger.jvnc.net (Scott Andrews)
Subject: Da, ja zhaden.  Mne stydno.
Sender: khrabrov@cccc.com (Alexy V. Khrabrov)
Date: Mon, 12 Jun 1995 22:08:01 GMT


	-- Rasstavat`sya s den`gami obidno.
	-- Vy zhadny?
	-- Da, ja zhaden.  Mne stydno.


--
        Alexy V. Khrabrov 
  "Ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam"-





Newsgroups: soc.culture.russian,soc.culture.soviet
From: compcom@tigger.jvnc.net (Scott Andrews)
Subject: Re: Znaet kazhdyj poliglot,
Date: Mon, 12 Jun 1995 22:20:43 GMT



In article <3rgep3$m8b@news.acns.nwu.edu>,
Leonid A. Umantsev  wrote:
>In article , compcom@tigger.jvnc.net (Scott Andrews) says:
>>
>>  Chto takoe "thanks a lot"!!
>>
>>
>>  Vot,
>
>U menja est' alternative ending (zakanchivaetsja na "v rot" :-) ).
>
>>
>>--
>>        Alexy V. Khrabrov 

>Leonid A. Umantsev
>Northwestern University, Evanston, IL.   USA
>lum191@nwu.edu

Dejstvitel`no, "poliglot" oznachaet "mnogoglot".  Tak zhe,

	-- Chto takoe "Poliwuk"?
	-- E`to, znachit, mnogo wuk.
	-- (Gm)  Chto takoe "Polikarp"?!
	-- E`to znachit, ... mnogo karp.

--
        Alexy V. Khrabrov 
  "Ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam"-






Article: 75972 of soc.culture.soviet
Newsgroups: soc.culture.russian,soc.culture.soviet
From: compcom@tigger.jvnc.net (Scott Andrews)
Subject: Chelovek Bez Rodiny
Sender: khrabrov@cccc.com
Date: Fri, 16 Jun 1995 16:04:01 GMT


	Chelovek bez Rodiny --
	E`to ne prichina.
        Chelovek bez Rodiny --
	E`to mertvechina.

--
        Alexy V. Khrabrov 
  "Ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam"-







Newsgroups: soc.culture.russian,soc.culture.soviet
From: compcom@tigger.jvnc.net (Scott Andrews)
Subject: Re: Chelovek Bez Rodiny
Date: Mon, 19 Jun 1995 15:48:18 GMT



In article <3s083o$laj@news.sas.ab.ca>,   wrote:
>Scott Andrews (compcom@tigger.jvnc.net) wrote:
>: 	Chelovek bez Rodiny --
>: 	E`to ne prichina.
>:         Chelovek bez Rodiny --
>: 	E`to mertvechina.
>
>Prichina chego?
>
>Luba R.

Vo-pervyh, ChBR (zdes` i dalee -- Chelovek Bez Rodiny) utrachivaet
svoj metaphizicheskij "pervoprichinnyj" smysl.  Esli on muzhchina,
on ne stanet patriarhom svoego roda na iskonnom areale, ne vojdet
v krug starejshin, utratil estestvennuyu istoricheskuyu,
prichinno-sledstvennuyu svyaz` motivacij i svershenij.
	Vo-vtoryh, ChBR vsegda noet, chto prichina ego bed -- izvne.
Na samom dele, ChBR imeet dyru v tom meste, gde u lyudej R/rodina,
i dyra e`ta i est` prichina ego mertvennosti.  Kak govorit, v
voobrazhenii I. Chudova, M. Verbitskij, ``my uzhe tri goda, kak ubity.''
Da, ChBR -- ne prichina svoih bed, no dyra, e`ta prichina, zijaet
v nem i po ego vine/vole.   

--
        Alexy V. Khrabrov 
  "Ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam"-




Newsgroups: soc.culture.russian,soc.culture.soviet
From: compcom@tigger.jvnc.net (Scott Andrews)
Subject: Re: Chelovek Bez Rodiny
Date: Tue, 20 Jun 1995 19:41:03 GMT



In article <3s4f7e$gmi@zip.eecs.umich.edu>,
Egor Alexeev  wrote:
>>Vo-pervyh, ChBR (zdes` i dalee -- Chelovek Bez Rodiny) utrachivaet
>>svoj metaphizicheskij "pervoprichinnyj" smysl.  Esli on muzhchina,
>>on ne stanet patriarhom svoego roda na iskonnom areale, ne vojdet
>>v krug starejshin, utratil estestvennuyu istoricheskuyu,
>>prichinno-sledstvennuyu svyaz` motivacij i svershenij.
>
>Dorogoi Alexy,
> 
>ya predlagayu rassmatrivate ChBR v drugom svete. Da zdravstvuyut 
>immigrantki i immigranty!!! Oni brosayut isskonnye rodovye obshiny
>i puteshestvuyut k novym, chuzherodnym plenenam.    
>
>Tam oni rabotayut kak sobaki i starayutsya vydvinut'sya naverh, chtob

K sozhaleniyu, mnogie po-prezhnemu "rabotayut" kak CA6AKA.....

>stat' chlenami soveta stareishin i ustanovit' novyu svyaz' mezhdu
>motivatsiyami i sversheniyami!!!         

...Dlya svoih detej.  Edinstvenno vozhmozhnaya polnocennaya
motivaciya novogo perebezhchika -- vospitat` svoej krov`yu
i gor`kimi slezami detej svoih, i ustalo ulybnut`sya, glyada
na bezzhalostnye shpili hrustal`nyh neboskrebov.  Tam, skvoz`
mutnue -- net, mytye stekla, mozhet, prividyatsya silue`ty sego
potomstva, karabkayuwegosya po chuzherodnoj social`noj 
lestnice -- t`fu, shahte, na gidravlicheskoj podveske...

>V usloviyah ustoichivogo razdela mira mezhdu razvitymi stranami edinstvennyi
>sposob zavoevaniya novyh territorii - cherez immigraziyu. On takzhe ves'ma
>gumanen, tak kak ne trebuet primeneniya oruzhiya   
>
>Predlagayu vydat' vsem immigrantam zvaniya 
>
>	Pionerov Velikoi Rossii
>
>Ishete polozhitel'noe vo vsem!!!
>
>>	Vo-vtoryh, ChBR vsegda noet, chto prichina ego bed -- izvne.
>>Na samom dele, ChBR imeet dyru v tom meste, gde u lyudej R/rodina,
>
>u vas TAM rodina???? 

Vse TAM budem  (-;...
>
>Egor

Hotya, konechno, ja sguwayu kraski ("Fata`nye sopli, chast` poslednyaa --
umri v slezah i soplyah!...").  Egor -- soglasen i zhmu ruku,

--
        Alexy V. Khrabrov 
  "Ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam"-






Newsgroups: soc.culture.russian,soc.culture.soviet
From: compcom@tigger.jvnc.net (Scott Andrews)
Subject: ``Seksual`nost` slavyan'' ili ``Seksual`nost` _u_ slavyan''?
Date: Wed, 21 Jun 1995 16:48:47 GMT


Druz`ya, vot uzh i kniga idet v pechat`, a ya vse nikak ne mogu
opredelit`sya s e`tim ``.._u_..''.  To ne lezhit u menya k nemu dusha,
to, naoborot, predstavlyaetsya e`to samoe 'u' vpolne opravdannym.
Posovetujte, u kogo k chemu dusha lezhit.  Spasibo zaranee,

--
        Alexy V. Khrabrov 
        ``Age Quod Agis'' (Do what you're doing.)





Newsgroups: soc.culture.russian,soc.culture.soviet
From: compcom@tigger.jvnc.net (Scott Andrews)
Subject: Oskolki soznaniya...
Date: Wed, 21 Jun 1995 19:57:49 GMT



...I obryvki myslej:

Rostyk Pravickij eqe ne pomer.
CEMA, slava bogu, tozh ne pomer.
Koe-kto eqe ne pomer eqe.
Osobenno Jarmo eqe ne pomer.  Pomer ne.  Pomer ne eqe.
S vesnoj, prosnulis` japoncy.
Znachit, oni ne pomerli.
Vopros, baten`ki: "Komu e`to vygodno?"  Kto zhe pomer-taki?

--
        Alexy V. Khrabrov 
        ``Age Quod Agis'' (Do what you're doing.)








Newsgroups: soc.culture.russian,soc.culture.soviet
From: compcom@tigger.jvnc.net (Scott Andrews)
Subject: Re: ``Seksual`nost` slavyan'' ili ``Seksual`nost` _u_ slavyan''?
Date: Thu, 22 Jun 1995 21:40:25 GMT





In article <3s9mut$nqm@fu-berlin.de>,
Yulik   wrote:
>Alexey aka compcom@tigger.jvnc.net (Scott Andrews) wrote:
>>Druz`ya, vot uzh i kniga idet v pechat`, a ya vse nikak ne mogu
>>opredelit`sya s e`tim ``.._u_..''.  To ne lezhit u menya k nemu dusha,
>>to, naoborot, predstavlyaetsya e`to samoe 'u' vpolne opravdannym.
>>Posovetujte, u kogo k chemu dusha lezhit.  Spasibo zaranee,
>
>Pomilujte, Alexej, ob `...st' sl..' poslednij yazyk
>oblomaesh'. Vprochem, oba khuzhe. Pochemu ne vzyat'
>skromnoe, no ponyatnoe: 
>
>  `Slavyanskij eros: pafos v poiskakh logosa'?

Miluyu, milaya Yulik.  Jazyk-to moj vpolne sposoben na pervoe (-;,
no zamechanie ochen` tochnoe s pozicii razzhevyvaniya i pogloqeniya massami.
Iz vseh iskusstv dlya nas vazhnejshim javlyaetsya _ono_.
Slovo ``eros'' ne lyublyu.  Nedotrogi, zakrojte ushi; dlya ostal`nyh 
ob~javlyaem,

	Slovo ``eros'' -- govno.



Vot eqe variant: ``Slavyanskaya seksual`nost`.''
Chisto russkie slova byli by, ``Slavyanskaya polovitost`.''  Tak?  (-;
Voobqe, posovetujte, kak perevesti ``seksual`nost`'' na ``solzhenitsynskij.''
Ja znayu, Madam Solzhe perevelo ``sferu'' kak... ``osharie.''
[glubokaja trevozhnaya tishina v auditorii; nachali plakat` deti]
Dejstvitel`no, doloj nizkoe kolenopreklonstvo pered razlozhivshimsya Zapadom.
Perevedem ``seksual`nost`'' na rodnoe narechie!  SlabO?!


--
        Alexy V. Khrabrov 
        ``Age Quod Agis'' (Do what you're doing.)






Newsgroups: soc.culture.russian,soc.culture.soviet
From: compcom@tigger.jvnc.net (Scott Andrews)
Subject: Re: ``Seksual`nost` slavyan'' ili ``Seksual`nost` _u_ slavyan''?
Date: Wed, 28 Jun 1995 17:59:38 GMT



Kuda-to podevalsya variant nazvaniya, nravyaqijsya mne 
v poslednee vremja:

	``Seksual`naya zhizn` polovaya.''

Russkaya orfographiaya obnazhaet slavyanskuyu tematiku, a 
ritm lozhitsya v pesnyu ``Tam vdali, za rekoj'':

	...Ty konek voronoj, peredaj, dorogoj:
	Seksual`naya zhizn` -- polovaya.

--
        Alexy V. Khrabrov 
  "Ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam"-







Newsgroups: soc.culture.russian,soc.culture.soviet
From: compcom@tigger.jvnc.net (Scott Andrews)
Subject: R/rodina kak Butylka Klejna
Date: Thu, 6 Jul 1995 16:08:35 GMT



Chto, esli tak i est'?  Togda nikto ne mozhet bt'
"za rubezhom"!  Da zdravsrvuet Velikoe Ob~edinenie
pod znakom Klejnovoj Butyli!  Mozhno uchredit'
premiyu, Xrystal'nuyu Butylku Klejna, dlya tex,
kto osobenno sposobstvoval rasprostraneniyu vzglyada
na R/rodinu kak na vot takuyu zamechatel'nuyu
Klejnovu Butyl'.

-- 
        Alexy V. Khrabrov  
    ``Age Quod Agis'' (Do what you're doing.)






Newsgroups: soc.culture.russian,soc.culture.soviet
From: compcom@tigger.jvnc.net (Scott Andrews)
Subject: Re: Why so much Chechen hatred and slander (Verbitsky?)
Date: Mon, 17 Jul 1995 21:01:13 GMT



In article <3tstql$8qj@mercury.galstar.com>,
Igor Chudov @ home  wrote:
>Kto pomozhet bednomu evreyu? 

Pishi uzh "bogatomu"!  (-;  A vot malen'kij statisticheskij stishok:

	Evrej otbil evrejku u evreja.
	On zlee byl, a tot, drugoj, -- dobree.
	Potom on s neyu zhil vsyu zhizn' skorbeya,
	Kak budto s~el zhivogo skarabeya.

--
        Alexy V. Khrabrov 
        ``Age Quod Agis'' (Do what you're doing.)




Newsgroups: soc.culture.soviet,soc.culture.russian
From: khrabrov@bean.cccc.com (Alexy Khrabrov)
Subject: Bill Palmer as a Thoughful Guy
Date: Mon Jul 24 16:58:05 EDT 1995



        BILL PALMER -- CHECHEN EMERITUS

Bill Palmer's a thoughtful American guy.
He knows what Russians will post here, and why.
His judgment is firm, his position's secure,
He offers those Russians a terrible cure:
Just let those peaceful Chechens on their own!
He screams "Mister Palmer's position is known:
Just leave those [f---ing] Chechens by themselves!"    [poor]
He looks through his numerous dusty bookshelves,
And reiterates once again -- nothing else:
"Just let Chechens rule, [f---ing] govern themselves!" [that is]
When Autumn will come after Summer once more,
Bill Palmer will roar and cry as wild boar:
In order for Russians to be very free,
Pull arms out of Chechnya on th' count of three!


--

        Alexy V. Khrabrov  
        ``Age Quod Agis'' (Do what you're doing.)
Archiving and HTML transfer by M. Verbitsky.